Sunday, October 22, 2006
不知为何今天很想用华语来博客。比较喜欢用华语吧。今天心情有那么一点点乱。突然想起之前和一个朋友的谈话。我不清楚自己心里怎么想。或许我我心里已做好 决定了，但只不过我还找不到那个决定吧。总是听他人说这种事只有自己最了解，但我反而觉得自己更难抉择。心中的迷惑与迷惘让人感到不安与混乱。或许他说得 对吧。如果不去闯闯看，那么永远都不可能成功。如果闯了而且成功的话，那么就是完美结局了吧。如果失败的话，至少心里不会那么忐忑不安了吧。但是还是得面 对失败的痛苦。而且，要闯的话，还得赌上之间的友情。
但我想了想后还是觉得去闯很危险。之前那段日子实在是太过痛苦了。每天过着痛心疾首的日子并不好过，我不想再重蹈覆辙。我那朋友问我保持现 状自己会比较快乐吗？我觉得自己的确会满意现状。我这样的确是在逃避问题，但我又能怎样呢？可真是进退维谷啊。我自己觉得能忘记这一切，反正之前的风风雨 雨都比现状恶劣上几千倍。但我能这样面对每次的挑战吗？我不想去想，也想不通。但之前的那段日子真的很痛苦。在上次与另一个朋友诉苦时，我无法控制自己的情绪。我不想让一次的失败笼罩在心里，挥之不去。说穿了就是自己胆小，我不否认啊。说闯谈何容易，原地踏步也没用。
那么，就当作一切也没发生过吧。自己这样或许会比较快乐吧。 我看还是别闯我人生中的这些灰色地带吧。这一切或许只是海市蜃楼，来混淆我的。算了，还是别说下去了，免得越描越黑。就让这首歌形容我的心情吧。平时不怎么喜欢听这首歌，但现在觉得它恰好诉说我的心声。
害怕 - 孙燕姿害怕忘
我没有很努力要自己去遗忘
那些和日记一起收藏的过往
孤单在思绪之中变得很漫长
想
我没有很刻意让自己不去想
那些和照片静止的模样
我学着坚强
坚强到不用学着不想
学着遗忘
还是害怕夜深人静时总想起你还是害怕的不经意听见你的消息然而当爱已经沉淀得太清晰
当拥有已经是失去
就勇敢的放弃
还是害怕一个人时就很难忘记还是
害怕突然宁愿当初没有决定
然而当爱最后的出口是分离
我会这么相信
走下去
rotted-1:47 AM
Monday, October 16, 2006
Thanks for all the guesses... They were very interesting... and TADA! the answers are revealed... lol...
1. I weigh 50kg...
Well... it's true... haha... at the start of this yr, it was 48kg... =D trying to gain a bit more...
2. My favourite movie is not Spiderman 1...
erm... this seems to haf hooked some memories of a certain exam paper... lol... but this statement is true too... heehee... my favourite movie is the parent trap... it's realli veri funny and touching lor... spiderman is ranked second... =)
3. I dun lyk durian...
ok this changed since i was young... when i was young, i adored it... dunno why i dun lyk it now... lol... i feel the smell is too baoli liaoz... XD
4. I hate tom yum...
this started when i first tasted tom yum in thailand... the sourness is -_- for me... haha... cannot tahan... if the spiciness is there then i maybe wun mind lor...
5. I was bonded first time in singapore...ok... the first false one... lol... lionel, THX HOR!! lol... u were part of it summore... haha... i was safe until then... neway, shan' t talk much abt it... *grins*
6. I lyk to go to the zoo...
i nvr believed i actually can lyk to go there... lately when i went there with ghee boon and the rest, it actually transformed until quite nice leh... =) surprising though...
7. My favourite chocolate flavour is white chocolate...
oOo... this one... =D i used to love white choc... until i bought three wishes in australia, wah!! dark choc, milk choc and white choc in three layers... wah... too bad singapore nvr sell... -____- xianz... so nice lor...
8. I want to have a hamster for a pet...
oh yes... i love hamsters... though i quite sadist... ok that's beside the point... hamsters are cute at least... heehee and they remain petite... but my family freaks out at the sight of hamsters...
9. My favourite author is Sir Arthur Conan Doyle...
this may be true in future but at least not now... i do like mystery stories... but i love agatha christie's one... only those with the detective hercule poirot... veri veri nice... conan doyle i juz started reading lately... but the stories i read the plot lyk quite similar leh... weird...
10. My spectacles cost $400+ bucks...
this is scary lar... lens at least 200 liaoz... frame oso... the frame some kind of memory metal then more durable lar... the lens is understandable... lol... degree 800 on right and 700 on left... lol... but not i pay... so =D
11. The songs i listen to reflect my mood...
oh yes... when i'm happy then i listen to BoA's songs lor... and maybe smap... if unhappy, then green day, kelly clarkson, avril lavigne etc... lol...
12. The last time i drank coffee was was at least half a year ago...
lol... technically it's true lar... lol... i hardly ever drink coffee... zeqi that dae pointed out to me i tried maria's coffee that dae... -_- ok so that one not counted lol... but i quite caffeine intolerant lar... if drink 1 cup then most prob dun nid to sleep liaoz..
13. I wanna be a teacher in future...
this one lyk nobody believe liddat... -__- haha... since i was young i wanted to be teacher... but maybe will change in future... frm the looks of students nowadays, lyk us... nxt time even worse... lol...
14. I shouted at a teacher before...
well... this is quite lame... lol... coz that time i wasn't in a good mood... and the teacher ga jiao me... lol... that was quite baoli to think of it now... haha...
15. I view life as a roller-coaster ride...
oh... i do see life as a roller coaster ride... my thinking is that now we r young... the ups and downs doesn't change a lot... happy oso not damn happy those kind... unhappy oso not the extreme kind... then grow older then ride becomes more steep... ups and downs lar... so whenever i feel i'm happy, then somewhere later will unhappy de lar... wat goes up muz come down... lol...
16. I have over 80 BoA songs in my com...
ooo... onli maria got this rite... lol... haha... i went to count onli abt 50 bah... lol haha... but will increase soon.... =D found many gd ones lately...
17. My wish is to have unlimited amount of chocolate at home...
this is lyk a child's wish lar... lol... i want lor... though i alwaes haf choc at home... unless i'm lazy to buy lor... but everytime veri fast finish de... including sweets too... haha... everything do some hw or sth a while then go raid fridge liaoz... that's y my efficiency is damn low... lol...
18. I wanna buy the whole set of Kindaichi comics now...
oh... i want lor... but veri hard to find full set de... not a veri popular comic wat... that dae i go my hse nearby one they say they can order whole set for me... 6 bucks each book... siao... 27 books leh... i buy in bulk summore... bleah... now still finding... lol...
19. My favourite english singer is Avril Lavigne...haha... this one juz changed lately bah... used to lyk her songs a lot... then now for rock i prefer green day... and apart frm that then depend on mood, maybe kelly clarkson or corrinne may lor...
20. I love spicy food... The spicier the better...
oh yes... =D i lyk this kind... but haven try eating a lot of wasabi yet... everytime i try onli put the wasabi and add soya sauce... so quite mild one... i dunno if i can take the baoli one... lol...
so answers are 5, 7, 9, 16 and 19... let's see...
0/2: sylvia
0/5: mann
1/5: ksiong (5), ever (7), kiwiz (5), yzq (5)
2/5: neo (16, 19)
now wait for the answers from others liaoz... =D
rotted-11:41 PM
Wednesday, October 04, 2006
tagged by MANn... lol...
One. Think of 15 short bits of interesting stuff about yourself. And they’ve gotta be true.
Two. Come up with 5 false statements regarding yourself, but for fun's sake keep them in the threshold of believability.
Three. Jumble them all up together and list them in any order.
Four. Post them on your blog and let people guess which the five false ones are!
Five. Get 5 others to do the same.
1. I weigh 50kg...
2. My favourite movie is not Spiderman 1...
3. I dun lyk durian...
4. I hate tom yum...
5. I was bonded first time in singapore...
6. I lyk to go to the zoo...
7. My favourite chocolate flavour is white chocolate...
8. I want to have a hamster for a pet...
9. My favourite author is Sir Arthur Conan Doyle...
10. My spectacles cost $400+ bucks...
11. The songs i listen to reflect my mood...
12. The last time i drank coffee was at least half a year ago...
13. I wanna be a teacher in future...
14. I shouted at a teacher before...
15. I view life as a roller-coaster ride...
16. I have over 80 BoA songs in my com...
17. My wish is to have unlimited amount of chocolate at home...
18. I wanna buy the whole set of Kindaichi comics now...
19. My favourite english singer is Avril Lavigne...
20. I love spicy food... The spicier the better...
ok i tink i tag ppl lar... this one quite fun... i tag ever, ksiong, siewhong, yanmin... aiya... dun sabo so many ppl... =) come and try...
rotted-11:59 PM
