Thursday, February 15, 2007
I think I've made a wrong decision. I seriously think so. Fate played me again. For the umpteenth time. Well, it's no surprise to me actually. I'm used to it. But, I feel indignant. Why me? Why just me? Probably it's just because I'm pessimistic lately. Well, it's not unfounded for me to have such apprehensive thoughts. Well, maybe I'm just a coward. I hate myself. For being such an idiot.
The whole day, I've been really depressed. But, somehow I instinctively put on the usual facade when I stepped into school. The wide smiles adroitly conceal the tears. The laughter facilely cloaked the misery. It was difficult to keep up the facade today. As the day went on, my mood simply dipped into an abyss. It was painful. On the bus back home, I was watching one of the episodes of Negima again. The first season. It was near the end of the series. The part when one of the female lead died before she could say something important to the male lead. Halfway, my vision went out of focus and I lightly rubbed my eyes. Only to find my fingers slightly wet.
The stuff that I watch and listen to lately seem to affect me a lot, adversely without fail. The playlist on my mp3 player has been abound with songs from Avril Lavigne and Corrinne May. The more I listen, the worse I feel. Probably I'm just going crazy.
我现在真的觉得已身心疲惫，还不断钻牛角尖。被命运捉弄了无数次，也难免会失去信心。可是，这次我不会屈服的。我很期待你的答复。我胡思乱想了一整天，深 怕你会疏远我。我不希望你从我的生命中销声匿迹。我所说的每一个字都出自我的真心。你对我真的很重要。我还是会耐心地等待你的答复。在那之前，我还是会继 续做你的朋友。
rotted-6:29 PM
