Monday, September 27, 2010
Pretend I'm okay with it all
Act like there's nothing wrong
Is it over yet?
Can i open my eyes?
Is this as hard as it gets?
Is this what it really feels to cry?
Cry
I'm talking in circles
I'm lying, they know it
Why won't this just all go away
Gotta love this song. Those questions are precisely what I'm asking now. Though I think i pretty much know most of the answers.
It's actually rather obvious. I can't hide it well. I know that myself. I must say I'm a pretty lousy signaller. I can't receive signals well. Never ever established a successful link before. One case in point of an unsuccessful one was I beam too early. By the time I turn off my transmission, the other end starts transmitting. -.- Lame. Another case. After I beam, within a short while, I realised I actually didn't want this link up. Either way, the other end never thought of receiving the signal in any case.
Now, I'm not sure what I'm doing. Logically, I tell myself I don't want to beam. If the other end runs away, it's going to be the worst case scenario. I tell myself. It's not what I should be doing now. Even if I want to do something, it is pertinent that I wait. So, what this simply means is that now, there's nothing I can do about it.
Great. I love this sense of helplessness and the high level of mind fcking. When I want something to change and yet there's nothing I can do about it, the feeling is seriously horrible. Let's see how long I can keep this up.
rotted-12:11 AM
Monday, September 20, 2010
最近，总是写到一半就懒得继续了。一懒惰起来，真的什么都没办法做。忙的时候就要死要活的。都不知道在忙什么。跟着自己的尾巴跑，一定有人在旁边看边笑吧。发现自己的脑筋停不下来。若没有在念书，就会忙着胡思乱想。
听歌吧。最近我的ipod里似乎加了很多好听的歌。现在最喜欢的还是这首。
王力宏-你不知到的事
蝴蝶擦幾次眼睛再學會飛行
夜空灑滿了星星但幾顆會落地
我飛行但你墜落之際
很靠近還聽見呼吸
對不起我卻沒捉緊你
你不知道我為什麼離開你
我堅持不能說放任你哭泣
你的淚滴像傾盆大雨
碎落滿地在心裡清晰
你不知道我為什麼狠下心
盤旋在你看不見那高空裡
多的是你不知道的事
蝴蝶擦幾次眼睛再學會飛行
夜空灑滿了星星但幾顆會落地
我飛行但你墜落之際
很靠近還聽見呼吸
對不起我卻沒捉緊你
你不知道我為什麼離開你
我堅持不能說放任你哭泣
你的淚滴像傾盆大雨
碎落滿地在心裡清晰
你不知道我為什麼狠下心
盤旋在你看不見那高空裡
多的是你不知道的事
我飛行但你墜落之際
你不知道我為什麼離開你
我堅持不能說放任你哭泣
你的淚滴像傾盆大雨
碎落滿地在心裡清晰
你不知道我為什麼狠下心
盤旋在你看不見那高空裡
多的是你不知道的事
rotted-10:22 PM
